Tuesday, January 08, 2013

The Secret Life Of Wonder Woman

Hello again!   How is your week going so far?  I was hoping to have a few more readers at this point!  I suppose that will come.  But, with over 700 friends on FB, I had thought that at least 10% of them would want to read my blog!  If you're reading, and perhaps like what you read, would you be willing to share it on your FB page?   You never know who you might reach! 

I had also hoped that more might have some comments on my previous posts.  What do you think about my idea?  Is there some magic, "miracle" formula for success?  Or is it really as simple as those who DO, succeed?  What do you think has been missing from your actions for you to experience success?  Do you have some unmet goals that you have dreamed of achieving?  Do you have a plan to help you reach your goal?

I have always been a big dreamer.  That's no problem.  But, when it comes to translating the desire, or the dream, into a fire which kindles action to achieve what I desire: well I must admit I seem to be challenged in this particular area.   How about you?  Do you have specific formulas for success?

It seems like we joke  a lot this time of year about making "resolutions" and breaking them.  So, if we don't keep the things we resolve, how can we really call them "resolutions"?  Maybe they are really "dreams" or "wishes".  Or, even just idle thoughts?  The things we say we "ought" or "should" do, but in reality we don't really WANT to do them!  Change is hard!  And even though we may all realize that the changes we dream of are for the better and are things we "ought" to do, we still cannot seem to see them happen.   So, rather than make resolutions and break them and have the guilt, we simply decide not to "resolve" anything.  Imagine what would happen if we had a "new year's day" every single day!  What if we could just face each new day with that new "resolve" and decide that yesterday is over, and we only have this day to keep our resolutions?   Instead we can decide that just for today, I will strive to keep the things I resolve.    That way, if we've made a resolution and then failed to keep it, we can simply have a "new year" the next day to start fresh again!  What do you think?

I think we all have those things we silently, secretly "resolve", and we don't want anyone else to know that it is our "resolve".  That way when we inevitably break our secret resolve, we're the only one who knows about it!   We may feel a bit of guilt for letting ourselves down, but that is about all the motivation we have.  So, we really don't manage to find more motivation to keep the things we resolve to do, because we're the only one who we disappoint when we fail.  And even though that might not seem a big deal, it is a sign that we are content to live in a "rut".  I once heard the definition of a "rut" is "a grave with the ends knocked out".   How many keep going on, and on, living in a rut and "wishing" for change, but never seem to get the motivation to make the changes they desire.  And some, like I spoke of in my first post, excuse their lives by shifting the blame for their circumstances to everyone else in their life!  

I know I have done all these things!  I have made resolutions I hoped to keep, and then quickly just swept them under the rug of my mind, and went on to do what I've always done.  And I may dream about those changes, but making the dreams a reality eludes.  

Here I am at the start of another new year, and facing that "dust" under the rug in my mind.  The idea that I really OUGHT to take my health, and keeping healthy, seriously and a dream of a healthier me.  I have never really cared much about my weight, and never really understood why it seems like a bit of an obsession to some women.  By "obsession" I mean that the better part of their daily lives are focused on it: getting on the scale every single day, analyzing every single pound and counting every single calorie.  Seems they are always feeling guilty or inadequate or not pleasing to themselves or others because of their physical size.  I have always felt very comfortable in my "skin", even as a "big, beautiful woman."  I have accepted who I was, what I was, and the size I was as just me!  And I never really felt the need to spend my every waking moment worrying about my size, or what I chose to eat.   As I ordered my coffee with whole milk and whipped cream, I would proudly say,  "You only live once!"   I mean, you might as well live and enjoy life, right?

I'm also a busy mom!  I know I have readers who will understand this!  My needs always come second to that of my kids.  Also, working in health care, it was even more so.  The kids, the clients, the work, the friend in need:  all these things come first before taking care of me.   I've been so busy with working full time, meeting the needs of the kids, I find that I might go days without doing simple personal care.   I know it really sounds bad, but there were times when I couldn't remember the last time I washed my hair, or brushed my teeth!  I think I do a super job of keeping my kids, and I'm a great employee and compassionate care giver, but I fail in providing what I need for myself!   Do I deserve better?  You bet I do!  When I learned that regarding my my abusive marriage, I did take action to make a change and get out of the relationship.  It took some time though and later I asked myself what took me so long!   When we faced a crossroads, I took a risk to move across country and start a new life in a new community.  So, what about today and exactly what is holding me back from just doing what I need to do to care for myself now? 

I hope maybe my rantings today might strike a chord for you.  I also hope that you will share your thoughts on the subject.  When we sweep our dreams and goals under the rug, rather than keep them out in open, on the front burner of our lives, who loses?  When we go on, day to day, doing what we've always done because its easy or comfortable, what is the ultimate price we pay?  Maybe there is more to a good life: more comfort, more pride, more success and its just a firm decision away!  Maybe I deserve to be the best I can be, instead of just what I am!  What do you think?

There is more to come, as I share my thoughts on accountability.  This will be where this blog for the new year and you, as my readers, come in!  So, I hope you'll stick around.


~Chris~ said...

Fabulous job Xtraordinary lady! I too suffer from the same thing from time to time. I think it's just important that we remain steadfast and control our thoughts. Here lately I've been forcing myself to log off FB and read or meditate or whatever it is I feel I need to do. Literally I say aloud, ENOUGH and it works.

Procrastination sucks but it gets the best of us. Keep on striving. You got this!!!

Grace said...

Great article, Ruth! It seems like we're on the same page... It's been said that a Goal is simply a Dream with a Deadline! Looks like there will be some legitimate goal setting going on this year. I like the point you make about having a "New Year" everyday. It reminds me that God's mercies are NEW Every Morning! You may have already done this; I have seen lots of "dream boards" lately - a collection of pictures and words that keep the "vision" articulated and in sight for regular reference along the way... I think it's a wonderful way to stay focused! Like you said: commitment - no negotiating - just follow through! :) I am looking forward to "the rest of the story..."